Feature Writing

It may be a silver screen but the space in front of it is a bear pit. Erin Scott questions why multimillion dollar films can be wrecked by a 70p bag of crisps.

Was there ever a time when you could just go to the cinema and enjoy the film?

It’s always been a problem but I have recently realised that I just cannot remember the last time I saw a film in the cinema and there wasn’t someone being completely inappropriate.

 Well, I can, but that was at 1pm on a Monday when there was no one but a friend and myself in the cinema.

I think one of the worst cases of this has been when seeing ‘The Impossible’ which, for those of you who don’t know, is about the Boxing Day tsunami in 2004.

During the film two women sat there and laughed, yes laughed, as a family that were torn apart by the tsunami tried to find their way back to each other.

The premise of this I found to be completely soul destroying that two people could just laugh at such a tragic film.

Another recent exposure to clearly unmitigated stupidity was during the Quentin Tarantino film ‘Django Unchained’ a critically-acclaimed film portraying the journey of a slave and a bounty hunter tracking down some of the country’s most wanted criminals as well as trying to free the slave ‘Django’s wife.

This being a Quentin Tarantino film it involved large amounts of profanity and violence.

However, despite being enough to please critics this film was not enough to please the man on the row behind me who decided the film was “so f*****g boring” that he felt the need to fill his time either shouting racist comments at the screen or at some points having the audacity to sit there and flick popcorn at me before announcing “This is bulls**t” and leaving about 40 minutes into the film.

Being a massive film fan I find this behaviour to not only be a completely incomprehensible waste of £8, but also just barbaric, why are you even at the cinema if you cannot sit still for two hours?

So, for those of you who are unaware of cinema etiquette here’s a few pointers: Do not take a young child to a 3 hour musical about France before the revolution that involves topics such as prostitution, death and child abuse, they will not enjoy it and neither will anyone else, thanks to you.

Don’t sit there and text - I know the cinema adverts about it are annoying but they’re true.

Don’t stand up the second the film is over, I am actually interested in the actors and crew, not to mention half the films now have clips after the credits.

It is not compulsory, or even acceptable, to scream during horror films.

It is okay to laugh during a comedy but not if you’re laughing like you’re in a crowded bar, and what part of you thinks it’s okay to sit there and eat crisps or rustle sweet bags every 5 seconds? If you want to do that, go to the theatre.


Fact file:
The top 3 highest grossing films of 2012 made a combined gross of nearly two and a half billion pounds worldwide.
The average price of a 2D cinema ticket in the UK is £6.


This is an example of an advertising shoot we did for our Photography module.

Espy

This is mine and a friends silent film we made for our audio video lesson at college.